Hello, avid readers!
We’re all very well acquainted with the struggle of finding time to read; between jobs, family, schooling, social media-ing, internet stalking Patrick Rothfuss waiting for a release date and watching Dexter on Netflix … there’s not much time left for reading! No more! Here are six foolproof ways to getting more time to read :)
This is an excellent way to keep up on your reading while getting things done…if you must. If you’re forced to leave the house, pop one in for the drive. Whether you’re finally forced to do the dishes because you ran out of spoons, pick up the puppy poop in the front yard or take the shower you’ve been needing for a few days now, listen to an audiobook! The great thing about having a book read to you, is your hands are free to finally get things done! If you feel inclined to do said things, that is.
No eating. No sleeping. No education
No, none of that! Those are the new forbidden words. Between classes and homework and studying, education takes WAAY too much time! Time you could be reading! Don’t even get me started on sleeping. That’s 45% of your life you’re throwing away, right there (or more if you’re like me). 45% of your life is dedicated to lying comatose, wasting away potential time. Down the energy drinks, the powerade, and get reading! Unless you’ve mastered the art of microwaving some Lean Cuisine one handed, or heating up some Kraft Mac’n Cheese without dropping your book in the boiling water, it’s not necessary. Just stack up on Skittles and you’ll be good.
Hide your books in textbooks
If you feel like making an effort towards an education and a potential career is absolutely necessary, then go to class. I won’t stop you. You can set your book in your textbook! Cut out the pages so it fits in the hole, and the professor will never know! If you have book covers, just put the book cover on your book! Or just say “screw it!” and lay in the back of the classroom reading. If you feel that’s far too rude for your delicate sensibilities, maybe an extended bathroom run? Nobody will bother you there. That’s illegal.
Earbuds are this new phenomenon nowadays, where you can put these mini-speakers in your ears and listen to audio books all day! People will just think you’re antisocial, or maybe PMS-ing. But who cares what they think, right? There are even Bluetooth earbuds that don’t have the tell-tale white cord sticking out. Forced in to a dinner with the fam? Stick in some earbuds, smile and nod at the appropriate times, and no one will ever know! Or you could take a page out of Epic Reads and just whip out a book and ignore them.
Suddenly come down with a horrible flu that is VERY contagious
Decided to marathon the Black Dagger Brotherhood books again? Yeah, you’re going to need a pretty serious illness to get you out of commitments for THAT long. It can’t be the average Strep-Throat or a simple cold, we’re talking Ebola here, people. Whatever you decide to come up with, make it contagious enough that no one drops by unannounced with some chicken noodle. We don’t got time for that. Vishous, Wrath, Rhage and Rhevenge are waiting for you!
Turn into a hermit
Drop out of whatever college you’re in. Stick to the mandatory Sunday night family conference call so no one feels the need to drop by for a visit, but cut off everything else. No friends. No Starbucks runs, no more nights of clubbing and meeting cute guys. They’re always better in books anyway, and you know it. (But that’s a topic for a different day.)
This certainly sounds tempting, doesn’t it? As readers, we often get frustrated by the hustle and bustle of life, and the lack of time to read. Short of buying a cabin in Alaska, or moving to a cave in Antarctica, it won’t stop. But that’s ok. After I drafted this post, I went downstairs and talked to family, and decided that maybe Antarctica isn’t the place for me. After all, shipping would be a bitch.
Final exams are looming guys….I hope you don’t take my advice ;)